Rewriting the Narrative of the Mother
This week’s full moon brought one of my long held and little known fears to the surface.
It went like this:
“Getting married, becoming a wife and eventually a mother mandates relinquishing my dreams and desires for my own life and putting my family’s needs far ahead of my happiness and heart’s longing.”
Although I’ve probably carried this fear with me since I realized the predicament my mom and both of my grandmothers before her found themselves in (and honestly, probably before that) once their children were up and grown, it’s been my impending wedding that really started to make it play in my experience. I noticed as the proverbial big day got closer I was getting less and less excited about it and I couldn’t figure out why until Monday morning.
I was out for a walk and listening to Brené Brown interview Glennon Doyle on her podcast, Unlocking Us, and little by little as I walked and listened, what they spoke of helped to unearth this story from the place in my mind where the light of awarness doesn’t yet shine and I began to realize that there was a part of me that believed (innocently and mistakenly) that by getting married and eventually becoming a mother I was agreeing to sacrifice parts of my life that were important to me. As the story emerged from the shadows it became obvious that it wasn’t my fate unless I accepted and agreed to it and that’s why I’m writing this note to you, mama.
What silent agreements and secret contracts of “good motherhood” have you made with yourself that say you must loose something so the ones you love and care for can gain?
Please, for your sake, for the sake of your daughters, granddaughters and the women who will come after them, take the time to question and rewrite these stories so you can be a model of truth, a human who is both imperfect and divine who follows her heart, honors herself and shows the ones who know and love her that by following your bliss you can make the world better and brighter for all.
Happy Mother’s Day, Mama. Share this with another mother who needs to hear it and today and always, let your light shine!