Desire v. Preference

Preferences live in the mind, on the surface, Desire runs deep.

Preferences are ego based - what I want, what I like.

Preferences are what get advertised to, algorithmed, tracked.

Preferences are what the world tells me are most important about me,

what makes me unique,

what makes me “better than”

What the world tells me will make me “happy”

someday when everything I want is all piled up gathering dust

Preferences make me vulnerable to being hacked and controlled from the outside.

I stopped believing everything I think a long time ago.

Because my mind is gameable and mostly because lots of what my mind thinks is a real waste of time,

always spinning stories trying to keep a hungry ego fed.

I don’t want the life I think I’d prefer, created by something as fickle, gameable and shortsighted as my mind.

Minds are amazing at problem solving and because of that they’re amazing at turning everything presented to them into problems.

My life is not a problem that needs to be solved and so I have relieved my mind from the task of creating my life.

This is where Desire, feeling, trust and the body enter the story.

Desire doesn’t care about what I think I want.

True Desire can’t be limited like that.

Desire knows what I can become, the life Source has woven for me.

Desire is my embodied connection to that Source, a sacred compass.

Desire doesn’t care about keeping me comfortable inside the cage of my preferences,

Desire knows what my soul is here for and asks me to burn everything down that isn’t that.

How does Desire share that knowing?

Through the body, through sensation, mental movies, words that come in my ears from nowhere.

How do I know the Desire is true?

It is a feeling, electric under my skin, grounded in my womb, tears running down my face,

Other people can feel it too.

Desire doesn’t care how many tears I will cry or if I’m “happy”

Desire wants the space to create what Life has queued up, what I agreed to before I came here.

I want to be a Desire tender, kinda like a fire tender.

Feeding It each day with trust and letting Life create through me

keeping it burning with each present breath,

doing the not always easy job of feeling It,

so it can have life in my body.

I am here to let Desire create my life.